Today is the first day in my entire life that it actually dawned on me where I want to be. I have no idea how I’m going to get there. But, I have realised where I want to be living and how I want my life to be going, what I really want to be doing and how I want to be living my life day in and day out. It may not be considered main stream or acceptable by my family and societies standards, not that its way out of the norm but it’s what I want and taking each day at a time I’m going to pull my self together and get me going along the straight and narrow to where I want to be.
How is it that I always manage to have at least one ‘friend’ who brings me down? Does the happen to everyone? I’m quite a reserved person, not exactly the type to go out every single night of the week, I much prefer to be by myself. This does not mean I don’t like being social, I just like it in smal doses. I have lots of friends, just not close ones anymore. I don’t necessarily think I push them away, we just grow apart. I want different things out of life and I’ve never been fully committed to a friendship. It’s important, I get that but it is just not on top of my priorities list. Currently I’m lemming over the fact that one of my ‘friends’ is saying things to me that are clearly meant as an insult but just not directly. Why do people feel the need to be like this? I don’t even want to be this persons friend, I just am because I feel I should. Awkward I know, but I find myself in this situation frequently. I have absolutely nothing in common with any of my so called friends and I am sick to death of these people always managing to make me feel horrible. The day I move away from this place, from them will honestly be the best day of my entire life. Rant over. (sorry!)